Passover Greetings, Celebrating a Festival of Freedom

A Festival of Freedom,

Free from Burdens We Have Carried

Passover is one of the most important observances in the Jewish community as we gather to tell the story of our ancestors’ exodus to freedom.

In a simple form, Passover is a festival of freedom.

This year our celebrations feel liberated, as many of us will have the chance to gather with a full crowd of family and friends for Seder, something that has not been possible in two years. The world does not look the same as it did when we last gathered in this way for Pesach, yet there is a freedom to what we can do. The pandemic may not be fully behind us, but because of our communal dedication to each other – by getting vaccinated, wearing a mask and social distancing when appropriate – we can now enjoy a new level of freedom; free from the burdens of worry, of isolation, and distance which we have carried since early 2020.

As the JFCS family prepares for upcoming celebrations, we reflect on how our services to the community also represents a path to freedom…

We provide seniors the autonomy and support to age how and where they choose.

We provide those fighting mental and emotional turmoil an outlet to unburden themselves of these internal stressors.

We provide families who are struggling financially the freedom found in nourishment and knowing they can put money towards other necessities, without worrying about filling their table.

May your Pesach be free of worries and brightened by togetherness with those you hold dear.

Chag Sameach,

Michelle Napell, Executive Director

What to Expect When Hiring a Home Care Agency

If you are considering hiring an aide, you or a loved one has likely had a recent injury, surgery or illness. You may require assistance with personal care, ambulating or being transported safely in addition to needing help with meals.

Think about the kinds of things you expect from the caregiver:
  • Do you want the person to take initiative in doing chores/tasks or should the caregiver only follow your instructions?
  • Would you prefer someone who enjoys conversation or would you prefer to be left alone?
  • Try to think outside the box with tasks that are not hands-on care (such as dressing, bathing and toileting}. The aide could straighten up the bathroom, change your bed linens and do laundry, help prep or actually prepare a meal for later, pick up groceries at the market, go to the pharmacy, etc.
  • Try to be as specific as possible about the schedule that would work best for you- keep in mind the number of hours in the “block” of time and how many days/week and which days you prefer. Schedules are generally not set in stone.  Health needs are ever-changing and schedules can change with the needs.  Usually, agencies need 24-48 hours’ notice to implement any changes.  Any changes in schedule must go through the office, not the caregiver.  Call the home care agency to report any difficulties you experience in the adjustment to having a caregiver.

When matching an aide to a client, it does help to know as much as possible.  Understand that the caregiver and you may take several days to settle into a routine and that the first day may not be a good reflection on how good the match is.  Agencies will do the best they can to match an aide based on skill set and caregiver availability to meet your needs.  A creative solution, such as slightly different hours, may be offered by the agency if the caregiver they think would be best has availability that slightly differs from your initial request.

Since the pandemic, many agencies now require a minimum of 16-20 hours per week of care due to the high demand for caregivers; many have had to increase their hourly rate from approximately $26 to $30, and many have increased the hourly block from 3 or 4 hours to 6-hour shifts.  The minimum number of days care is given may have also been adjusted due to availability of staff.  If you have a request for a shorter block of time or less frequency, you may have a greater turnover in aides being assigned to your care.  In general, the more hours and days per week, the more consistent the caregiver.  Each agency sets its own policy regarding rates and minimum care.

Not all agencies require their caregivers/staff to be vaccinated.  We advise you to inquire about the status of your caregiver.  Please know that the agencies do provide masks, gloves and sanitizers for their aides to use.

Generally, most agencies do not bring caregivers to your home to be “interviewed” prior to the assignment.  The agency will match the best caregiver to your needs and if the match does not meet your expectations after several days, the agency will do its best to make any necessary changes.  Most aides do not have interviewing experience and may not present his or her best version of oneself in that type of setting.  If you are being discharged from a rehab setting, the agency can, in most cases, bring the aide to the facility for “training” by the PT department regarding any specific needs.

Following a hospitalization or rehabilitation stay, the agency may recommend having “round the clock” care for the first few days.  This means you will be billed the hourly rate x 24, per day.  The benefit of this is that your overnight needs can be evaluated so that you are safe, especially if there is concern about being a fall risk or having impaired sleep and needing care throughout the night.  The agency will generally arrange for (2) 12-hour shifts, or (3) 8 hour shifts of aides.  Once it is determined that you or your loved one is not at risk of falling at night, or is able to sleep through the night, the schedule can be adjusted to your needs.

If you require a caregiver who has his/her own car or has a driver’s license (and can drive your car) to do errands, take you to a doctor appointment, etc., please tell the agency.  Not all aides have a car and/or a driver’s license.

If you need a live-in caregiver, keep in mind the caregiver needs to sleep and cannot work “round the clock”.  Live-in aides are required to have 5 hours of consecutive hours of sleep, with 8 hours total per night, as mandated by labor laws.  If the client needs brief help more than once or twice nightly, additional overnight support may be necessary; either a second aide can be added to remain awake overnight or two twelve hour shifts of care may need to be implemented in lieu of live-in care.

If you have a live-in caregiver, you will need to provide a separate room for him/her for sleeping in addition to providing food.  Any unusual or special dietary requests by the caregiver are not your responsibility to provide.

Most agencies will charge time-and-a-half on holidays.

If you have a pet in the house, you need to inform the home care agency and do not assume that the caregiver will take care of your pet (walk, feed, clean litter box, etc.).

We hope you find this information useful.  If you would like to speak to a geriatric care manager, please contact JFCS at 609-987-8100.

Beth Hammer, LCSW Geriatric Care Manager
Andrea Gaynor, LCSW Geriatric Care Manager
Beverly Mishkin, LCSW Director of Senior Services

Addressing anxiety & fear in the face of threats of violence in schools

Today’s threat on TikTok for potential school violence has spurred widespread concern and anxiety. NJ Gov. Phil Murphy has stated, “While there are no known specific threats against New Jersey schools, the safety of our children is our highest priority and we will work closely with law enforcement to monitor the situation and remain prepared.” However, many of us are still facing feelings of unease and stress whether you are a parent, a student, an educator, a school staff member, a relative of anyone in a school setting, or simply concerned for your community.

Threats or acts of violence that occur in schools can cause a great deal of confusion and fear in our children who start to worry about their own safety and the safety of their friends and family. 

Knowing how to have a conversation with your child or teen about school safety is critical and can play an important role in easing fears and anxieties about their personal safety. How do you address these fears and keep them feeling safe in school and at home? Here are some helpful guidelines:

  • Talk honestly with your child or teen about your own feelings modeling that they are not dealing with their fears alone.
  • Validate your child’s feelings. “Validating” means giving your child or teen that all-important, and seemingly elusive, message that “your feelings make sense.”
  • Empower your child to take action regarding school safety. Encourage them to report incidents such as bullying, threats or talk of suicide. Encourage older children to actively participate in student-run anti-violence programs.
  • Support your child’s efforts to work out scary thoughts and feelings through play, drawing, or other activities

Lastly, watch for warning signs that your child may suffer from anxiety. Some common reactions to anxiety are:  

  • Disrupted sleep patterns
  • Frequent nightmares or not being able to sleep
  • Changes in eating habits which could include loss of appetite or overeating
  • Lack of focus or ability to pay attention
  • Separation anxiety or unusual clinginess.

If symptoms should persist for more than six weeks or disrupts your child or teen’s daily routine, it is recommended that you seek professional help. JFCS can provide you the necessary support; please call 609-987-8100 Ext 102.

Shirley Bellardo, LCSW, LCADC Director of Clinical Services

JFCS: Moving Forward into 2022 with Help, Hope and Healing

The end of year is always a time to reflect and set goals for the year ahead. JFCS is sharing inspiring stories of how our programs have helped the individuals, families and community we serve move forward after another challenging year for all.

Valerie’s Journey of Healing…

Valerie reached out to JFCS after recognizing the severity of the anxiety and depression she was experiencing. After making the commitment to counseling and putting new skills into action, Valerie felt empowered to address the root of her most severe symptoms – low self-esteem caused by lack of boundaries in challenging relationships. By tackling the causes of her anxiety and depression, Valerie soon felt confident to move forward from therapy.

“My counselor was exceptional and did an excellent job listening without judgment and providing professional support. I am extremely grateful for this experience and am looking forward to moving past my anxiety.”

Helping Arthur and Ruth Move Forward with Confidence…

The JFCS senior service team received a call from Arthur, who lives out of state, and was concerned about his 90 year-old mother who lives alone in the Princeton community. While the son was in town, one of our geriatric care managers scheduled an appointment to meet with both Arthur and his mother, Ruth. The care manager did a thorough assessment including home safety, social supports, meal shopping/preparation and transportation options. A plan of care was developed to address these issues. Arthur left for home feeling like a “weight had been lifted from his shoulders.”

He knew he was no longer alone to deal with the challenges that lie ahead. JFCS receives many calls like this and our expert team of geriatric care managers is available to provide guidance and support to those in similar situations.

Melinda Finds Hope at the Pantry…

Melinda is a grandmother who serves as the primary guardian to both grandsons. She lives on a fixed income and is the full-time caregiver to both children, one of whom has significant physical special needs, requiring in-home therapy and care. It is difficult for Melinda to get out of the house, but thankfully, she is in counseling with one of our JFCS therapists who referred her to the pantry team. Our pantry team was able to identify one of our local mobile food pantry stops where Melinda can easily and conveniently pick up groceries. Melinda was also able to receive gift cards through the LIGHTS program so she could purchase holiday gifts for her grandsons, something out of reach without this support.

“With a resource coming right to my neighborhood, it is a huge relief. I face serious financial challenges as the sole caregiver for my grandsons, and I am so appreciative of any help. Even the smallest gesture makes a big difference in our lives.”

Stories like those of Valerie, Arthur, Ruth and Melinda are just some examples of the impact we have made, together, over the past year. You can read further about how JFCS has served the community this year in our latest Annual Report.

We thank all of those who have supported us, especially in these ongoing, challenging times. We hope you can once again trust JFCS to care for those in need with an end of year gift. Help us move into the new year with help, hope & healing.

Budget-Friendly and Time-Conscious Thanksgiving Tips & Recipes

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Thanksgiving is an exciting time to eat some of our favorite holiday foods. We could go on and on about Thanksgiving fare, but the reality is that making too many dishes can be stressful! Check out the following tips to spend less time and money in the kitchen.

  1. Keep it simple by focusing on favorites – choose your favorite 2 vegetable sides & 1-2 starchy side dishes to make and enjoy without going overboard. You can make other dishes any day of the year without the pressure of the big day!
  2. Make only what you will need – Thanksgiving leftovers are great, but buying too much can put you over budget and creates waste.
  3. Basic is best – Often our favorite recipes are the most simple. Choose recipes without extra ingredients. This saves time shopping AND in the kitchen. Making dishes from scratch is often less expensive too.

When it comes to Thanksgiving, thinking ahead can save the day!

Giving ourselves time to decide what’s really important minimizes holiday stress. Prioritizing can keep us focused and on-track to stay within budget and to make healthier choices.

  1. Prioritize only a few of your “Must-Have” favorite dishes and choose recipes in advance. You can make other dishes any day of the year.
  2. Purchase November’s in-season produce while it’s at the lowest price and its peak of freshness (winter squashes, collards, cabbage, sweet potato, kale, carrots, apples, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, cranberries etc.)
  3. Make it ahead. Schedule a prep day where you can get some foods done in advance. Many can be stored in the freezer for weeks and just need to be reheated (soup, casseroles, pie, etc.)
  4. Use a slow cooker if you have one. Many recipes can be adapted to be made in a slow cooker. It takes up little space and reduces your active cooking time.
  5. Poultry swap. Turkey is often the most expensive item at Thanksgiving. Cut the cost by:
  • Purchasing store-brand turkey
  • Choosing a smaller bird and focus on the side dishes
  • Substituting chicken and prepare it with the same care you would for a turkey
  • Buying turkey pieces instead of the whole bird
Roasted Turkey Breast

For when you don’t want to cook a whole bird (try it with chicken!)

  • 5 lbs Turkey Breast, bone in & skin on
  • 2 tbsp Butter, softened
  • 2 large Garlic Cloves, minced
  • 1 tbsp Rosemary
  • 1 tsp Smoked Paprika
  • 2 tsp Salt
  • Black Pepper, to taste
  • 3 cups Water

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.
  2. In a small bowl, add softened butter, garlic, rosemary, smoked paprika, salt & pepper. Mix thoroughly.
  3. Rub turkey breast with seasoned butter all around, starting from the bottom with bone side.
    Place turkey breast side up on a rack and then put rack inside the baking dish. Pour water into the pan underneath the turkey.
  4. Bake uncovered for 20 minutes on a bottom rack.
  5. Loosely cover with foil and bake for 70-80 minutes more or until internal temperature in the deepest part of meat reaches 150 – 155 degrees F.
Cranberry Sauce

For a more naturally sweetened sauce

  • 12 oz Cranberries, fresh or frozen

  • 1/3 Cup Maple Syrup or Honey

  • 1/4 Cup Orange Juice (use zest of oranges if fresh)

  • 1/8 tsp Vanilla (optional)

  • 1/8 tsp Cinnamon (optional)

Instructions:

  1. Add cranberries, syrup or honey, and orange juice to a pot.
  2. Cover and bring to a boil. Then reduce heat to medium and cook for 6 more minutes.
  3. Remove lid and add vanilla & cinnamon (optional). Stir and cook for another 3 minutes or until cranberries are broken down and the sauce has thickened.
Thanksgiving Stuffed Acorn Squash

For a new dish to serve featuring seasonal vegetables.

For the Squash

  • 3 Acorn Squash, small

  • 1 Tbsp Olive Oil

  • Salt & Pepper, to taste

For the Stuffing

  • 1 Onion, chopped
  • 3 Garlic Cloves, minced
  • 1 Tbsp Olive Oil
  • 1 lb Lean Turkey, ground
  • 3 Cups spinach/kale, chopped
  • 2 tsp Dried Rosemary
  • Salt & Pepper to taste
  • Hard Cheese & Parsley for garnish (optional)

Instructions:

  1. Cut squash in half and scoop out the seeds. (save them to toast later)
  2. Place squash cut side up on a large baking sheet. Brush with 1 tbsp of oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Bake for 30 minutes.
  3. In the meantime, prepare the stuffing. Place a large skillet over medium-low heat.
  4. Add oil onion and garlic and cook until translucent and fragrant. Add turkey and cook for another 7-8 minutes while mixing and breaking up the meat.
  5. Add remaining ingredients. Mix together and cook for another few minutes.
  6. After the squash have roasted for 30 minutes, remove them from the oven. Carefully stuff the centers with the stuffing & sprinkle on cheese (optional).
  7. Return the stuffed squash to the oven and bake another 25-30 minutes until the top is golden brown and the squash can be easily pierced with a fork.
Toasted Acorn Squash Seeds

For a crunchy & salty snack while waiting for dinner.

  • Acorn Squash Seeds

  • Oil of your choosing, enough to lightly coat

  • Salt, to taste

Instructions:

  1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F and line a baking tray with foil.
  2. Remove squash pulp from seeds as best as possible.
  3. In a bowl, drizzle oil onto the seeds to lightly coat. Add salt and mix.
  4. Spread the seeds on your baking sheet in a single layer and place into the oven.
  5. Bake for 15-20 minutes, tossing the seeds with a spatula once or twice during the cooking time.
  6. Remove once they are golden and fragrant.
Garlic Green Beans

For a deliciously simple vegetable side dish.

  • 1.5 lbs Fresh Green Beans, ends trimmed

  • 3 Tbsp Water

  • 2 Tbsp Olive Oil

  • 3-4 Garlic Cloves, minced

  • Salt & Black Pepper to taste

Instructions:

  1. Preheat large ceramic non-stick skillet on medium heat.
  2. Add green beans and 3 tbsp water. Cover and cook for 4 minutes.
  3. Remove the lid and if there is any water left, cook green beans until water has evaporated.
  4. Push beans to the side. Add olive oil and garlic. Cook for 30 seconds and then stir with green beans. Season with salt & pepper.
Roasted Brussels Sprouts

For a traditional & simple seasonal vegetable side.

  • 2 lbs Brussels Sprouts, fresh

  • 3 Tbsp Olive Oil

  • Salt & Black Pepper to taste

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F and line a baking sheet with foil.
  2. Trim the ends and remove outer leaves from brussels sprouts.
  3. Place brussels sprouts on baking sheet, drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper.
  4. Mix with hands to evenly coat with oil and seasonings. Spread into a single layer.
  5. Bake for 40 mins, tossing with a spatula 1-2 times after the 30 minute mark.
Slow Cooker Mashed Potatoes

For a hassle-free slow cooker recipe (try it with sweet potatoes!)

  • 5 lbs Potatoes, peeled & cut into 1-inch cubes

  • 1/2 Cup of Lowfat or Plant-Based Milk

  • 1/2 Cup Low-Sodium Broth

  • 3 Garlic Cloves, smashed

  • 1/3 Cup Plain Greek Yogurt

  • 1/4 Cup Parmesan Cheese, grated

  • Salt & Black Pepper to taste

  • Sliced Green Onions or Chives for garnish (optional)

Instructions:

  1. Place potato cubes along with milk, broth, salt, black pepper, and garlic into a slow cooker. Toss to combine.
  2. Cover the crock and cook for about 3-4 hours on high or 6-8 hours on low.
  3. When the potatoes are tender, mash them directly in the slow cooker to your desired consistency.
  4. Add yogurt and grated parmesan, and season to taste.
  5. Place the lid back on the crock pot and heat through for another 15-20 minutes before serving. Garnish if desired.
Seasonal Squash Soup

For a hearty seasonal soup you can make ahead (try with any winter squash!)

  • 1 Butternut Squash,  peeled, seeded, & cubed (save your seeds to toast later)
  • 2 Tbsp Oil
  • 1 Onion, chopped
  • 1 Stalk Celery, chopped
  • 1 Medium Carrot, chopped
  • 32 oz Low-Sodium Broth
  • Salt & Black Pepper, to taste

Instructions:

  1. Add oil to a large soup pot. Add onion, celery, carrot and squash and cook for 5 minutes, or until lightly browned.
  2. Pour in enough of the chicken stock to cover vegetables. Bring to a boil then reduce to low heat and cover. Simmer for 40 minutes, or until all vegetables are tender.
  3. Carefully, transfer the soup to a blender (or use an immersion blender), and blend until smooth.
  4. Mix in any remaining stock to attain desired consistency. Season with salt and pepper.

If Freezing…

  1. Allow soup to cool, and then pour into a freezer-safe container. Leave space at the top for expansion.
  2. Place in the freezer until ready to use.
  3. Thaw overnight in the refrigerator if desired. Reheat in a pot on the stove.
Baked Apples

For a healthy dessert that highlights beautiful seasonal apples.

  • 4 Large Apples

  • 3 Tbsp Unsalted Butter, softened

  • 1/4 Cup of Brown Sugar or Honey

  • 1/2 tsp Ground Cinnamon

  • 1/8 tsp Ground Nutmeg

  • 1/3 Cup Whole Rolled Oats

  • 2 Tbsp Raisins/Dried Cranberries/Chopped Nuts (optional)

Instructions:

  1. In a bowl, mash butter, sugar/honey, oats, cinnamon, and nutmeg together until combined. Add raisins/dried cranberries/nuts, if using. Set aside.
  2. Core the apples: Use an apple corer or a sharp paring knife and a spoon. Cut around the core, about 3/4 down into the apple. Use a spoon to carefully dig out the core.
  3. Place cored apples in a baking pan with sides. Spoon filling into each apple p to the top.
  4. Pour water into the pan around the apples to cover the bottom.
  5. Bake for 40-45 minutes or until apples are to your desired softness.
  6. Remove apples from the oven and allow to rest 5 minutes. Serve warm.
Prep-Ahead Pumpkin Pie

For a traditional dessert you can make in advance

  • 1 Store-Bought Pie Dough

  • 3 Eggs, large

  • 15 oz can 2 cups pumpkin puree (not pie filling)

  • 1/2 cup your choice of milk

  • 1/2 cup maple syrup or honey

  • 1/2 tsp vanilla

  • 1.5 tsp pumpkin pie spice**

  • 1/4 tsp salt

**Make & store your own pumpkin pie spice in a jar by mixing 1/4 cup ground cinnamon, 1 Tbsp ground nutmeg, 1 Tbsp ground ginger and 1 tsp ground cloves

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350F
  2. In a medium bowl, add eggs and whisk for 30 seconds.
  3. Add pumpkin puree, milk, maple syrup, vanilla, pumpkin pie spice, salt and whisk together.
  4. Pour your pie filling into pre-baked crust and bake pie for 55 minutes.

Freeze & Store…

  1. Let the pie cool completely.
  2. Wrap the pie tightly in a few layers of plastic wrap.
  3. Label the pie with the freeze date and place in freezer.
  4. Thaw overnight in refrigerator before serving.

Caring for the Caregiver: National Family Caregiver Month

We salute all family caregivers for the love, support and day-to-day, day-in and day-out care that you give to your family members.

At JFCS we are always available to provide care for the Caregivers:

Contact Beverly Mishkin, Director of Senior Services, beverlym@jfcsonline.org or Chaplain Beverly Rubman, beverlyr@jfcsonline.org, for more information.

We share several readings below to support you as you take care of your loved ones…

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair grows in me
and I wake in the middle of the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief.  I come into the presence of still water.
and I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light.  For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

–Wendell Berry–

CARETAKER’S PRAYER

Dear God, give me the strength to face this day,
To deal with the tension, anxiety and dizzying confusion of my life.
Teach me to focus, to prioritize, to see with clarity.
God of patience, teach me to be patient.
Forgiving God, teach me to forgive.
Bless me with the courage to face my loved one’s illness and pain, amidst my own fears.
Touch me with your spiritual light, your love, your wisdom
So that I can continue my task tomorrow, knowing that You are by my side.

–Based on the writing of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, appearing in The Gentle Weapon:  Prayers for Everyday and Not-So-Everyday Moments (Jewish Lights)–

“It’s funny: I always imaged when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox, fully of shiny tools:  the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience.  But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools—friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty—and said, Do the best you can with these, they will have to do.  And most, against all odds, they’re enough.”

–Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies:  Some Thoughts on Faith, page 103–

Birdsong at Midnight

Sometimes a bird will sing at midnight.
Perhaps restless, perhaps confused,
Perhaps so full of joy and love
That music bursts forth.

Fill me with song on sleepless nights.
Fill me with music in the lonely deep.
Let the promise of a new day
Bring comfort and consolation.

–Alden Solovy, This Grateful Heart

Stigma and the Words We Choose

According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), 35% of Americans who experience serious mental illness do not receive treatment; when we focus on those who experience substance use disorders the number is closer to 90% (Volkow et al., 2021). Given these high numbers it is crucial that we look for ways to remove barriers to accessing mental health care. While we often hear messages that promote the importance of mental health, there is also a long history in our society of treating mental illness and substance use as evidence of personal or moral failure. If we genuinely care about reducing the burden of mental illness on individuals, families, and society, then we must acknowledge that the stigma created by this mindset of mental illness and substance use as a character flaw can lead to barriers in accessing treatment for many people.

The language we use in our everyday lives can play a role in either adding to or reducing stigma around mental illness and substance use. For example, casual usage of words like “crazy’, “insane’, or “psycho” as pejorative descriptors in common conversation minimizes the significant challenges of those who experience mental illness and underscores the narrative that those with mental illness are somehow less worthy of being treated with respect and dignity.

Words used to describe people can influence not only how they view themselves but also the treatments they are offered. Studies have repeatedly shown that when patients are described as substance “abusers” or “addicts” physicians and other mental health clinicians are more likely to recommend punitive measures, such as jail time, instead of mental health treatment (Volkow et al., 2021). Using a term such as “substance use disorder” is clinically accurate and avoids the use of stigmatizing terms like “abuse” and “addiction”.

Many disability advocacy groups indicate a preference for the use of Person First Language (PFL) over the use Identify First Language (IFL) when describing diagnoses or disabilities that people experience. Using Person First Language to describe someone as a “person with Alcohol Use Disorder” instead of using Identity First Language to describe them as an “Alcoholic”, removes judgment and recognizes that the person is more than their diagnosis. However, not all populations have embraced Person First Language, and we should strive to use the terms preferred by those who experience a particular disability. One notable exception to the preference for Person First Language over Identity First Language relates to autism self-advocacy. In alignment with the Neurodiversity Movement, Identity First Language such as “autistic person” is overwhelmingly preferred by many autistic adults who consider the usage of Person First Language such as “person with autism” to be stigmatizing and invalidating of their lived experiences (Robison, 2019). They view autism as is intrinsic to their identity, not something that needs to be cured.

While it is always important to focus on the person not their diagnosis, it is also important to honor preferences about how certain individuals and populations prefer to describe themselves. The words we choose can either perpetuate stigma or honor the experiences of those who are struggling and need support.

Sarah Valerio, Clinical MSW Intern

References:

Robison, J.E. (2019), Talking about autism—thoughts for researchers. Autism Research, 12: 1004-1006. 

Volkow, N. D., Gordon, J. A., & Koob, G. F. (2021). Choosing appropriate language to reduce the stigma around mental illness and substance use disorders. Neuropsychopharmacology.

Individual Actions, Community Impact: A Message for the High Holidays

The high holidays are a time when we come together as a Jewish community in celebration and solemn observance; yet, when you consider the holidays, our observance is in fact very much focused on individual reflection, atonement, and giving. This time of year which holds great significance to our collective all begins with our individual choices and acts.

Between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we reflect on our individual actions – what could I have done differently – and review our choices – what am I proud of this year – in an attempt to honestly evaluate ourselves. We evaluate, we redeem, we give, and we set our own path for the year ahead and, while doing so, we create a more connected, supportive, compassionate community.

This theme felt incredibly poignant given all we have endured and continue to face because of the pandemic.

It has taken each of us making individual choices – helping a neighbor, giving a donation, wearing a mask, getting vaccinated – to bring our community to a better place, a more hopeful place, this fall compared to last fall.

Over the past year, JFCS has witnessed first-hand how the generous actions of one individual can have far reaching effects, like the mother-daughter efforts of Sujaya and Anushka Majumdar who hand-sewed masks to donate to JFCS and other local organizations to distribute to clients in need, and Samantha Burnside, a local teen who rallied family and friends to raise almost $1,000 for the JFCS food pantries. This July, the entire world witnessed how the voice of an individual, Olympic gymnast Simone Biles, could raise awareness, and inspire others to prioritize their own mental health.

One person’s action can make all the difference to a neighbor, a community, a country, a world.

While we have come so far since last year, there are still many who need our help on the long road to healing. There are the seniors working through the impact of a year of isolation, there are the individuals struggling with mental and emotional turmoil, and there are families continuing to live in a state of financial uncertainty, unsure if they can afford their next meal.
We turn to you, to your power as an individual to act. In honor of the high holidays, we ask that you consider how you can make a small choice that can benefit the community.

A donation now means that when you reflect next year, you already know you have made a difference, an action to be proud of.

Michelle Napell, Executive Director
Jill Jaclin, Board President

Why Do I Feel Bad? Understanding Unjustified Guilt

Guilt is a normal, healthy emotion. Experiencing it when you’ve hurt someone or when you’ve made a mistake is a good sign—it means you have a conscience. But sometimes, you may experience unjustified guilt.

Unjustified guilt is when people punish themselves even though circumstances are out of their control, or they did not deliberately hurt anyone.

In the context of the pandemic, we are living in a period where we are reminded daily that our actions have consequences. There are several factors during this pandemic that have made us more vulnerable to unjustified guilt: guilt surrounding bereavement; guilt that your job is secure, or you are in a safe position, while others are not; guilt over parenting decisions; guilt because you cannot do more to directly help others; guilt after going to a social gathering; guilt for not going to a social gathering…the list goes on.

So, what can we do to avoid future guilt?

You may not be able to control the fact that you experience guilt, but you can control how you respond to it.

It is important to acknowledge that you are feeling guilty and identify the reason, then recognize the negative critical thoughts which can lead to a distorted idea of what happened or disproportionate levels of guilt. Try and reframe those negative thoughts with something you would say to a friend if they were going through a similar situation. If speaking to a friend, you would point out the good things they have done, remind them of their strengths, and how much you value them. You deserve this same kindness.

Be gentle with yourself. The ability to look at a situation from another’s perspective is incredibly powerful. It triggers a different set of emotions, the foundation of empathy that you need to be easier on yourself.

If you’re feeling guilty after a specific action, pause and evaluate what you can do differently in the future. It may help to identify what values you want to live by during the pandemic, even writing them down, so you can refer to them when if a situation arises. Remind yourself that you are doing this for your physical and mental safety which is another way of taking care of yourself.

Shirley Bellardo, LCSW, LCADC

September is Hunger Action Month! How Can You Help?

In 2008, Feeding America established Hunger Action Month, recognized during the month of September. As we continue to see the long-term impact of the pandemic, we know those who were already in vulnerable financial positions have been pushed even further.

In Mercer County, 1 in 10 individuals is estimated to be food insecure.

This September, how can you help during Hunger Action Month?

Taking Small Steps for a Big Impact

    • On your next trip to the grocery store, pick up a few extra items to donate to your local food pantry. The JFCS food pantry accepts Kosher food items and is always in need of healthy breakfast foods: hot & cold cereal, oatmeal, pancake/waffle mixes
    • Make a monetary donation to a local food pantry or food bank. If you want to support the JFCS food pantry and food distribution programs, make a gift on our donation page and include a Note: Hunger Action Month.
    • Plant-a-Row – harvest season is here! If you maintain a personal garden, consider donating excess produce to the JFCS pantry. All summer long our food pantry has benefited from donations from personal and community gardens that have allowed us to offer a variety of fresh produce to our clients. Want to know more about what to plant and how to donate? Connect with pantry coordinator Taryn Krietzman, RDN at TarynK@jfcsonline.org.
    • JFCS is the Stop & Shop Pennington Bloomin’ 4 Good Partner for September! All month long, for every Bloomin’ for Good bouquet (designated with red sticker) sold, the JFCS pantry receives $1. Support our pantry while spreading joy.

Group Efforts

    • Volunteer! You and your family or a small group can help pack bags at the JFCS pantry or provide support at a mobile pantry distribution. Connect with our volunteer coordinator, Eden Aaronson at EdenA@jfcsonline.org to learn more.
    • Organize a food drive! Whether you’re back to the office, back to school, or still connecting virtually, you can organize a food drive in your community. Learn about how to organize a drive for JFCS by connecting with Eden Aaronson at EdenA@jfcsonline.org.

Go the Extra *MILE*

    • Sign up to ride in the 1st Annual JFCS Wheels for Meals bike ride fundraiser on Sunday, October 3! This new fundraiser supports all JFCS food programs – the on-site and mobile food pantries and senior nutrition programs. This event is perfect for serious and not-so-serious riders with multiple route options. Learn more and register to ride at jfcswheels4meals.org!